What do you do when there is no one?

So I have been thinking about this for awhile as I am constantly reminded in posts and memes on both Instagram and Facebook. People always say (especially to new Mums) that if you are struggling don’t forget to reach out and get help. In any situation really it’s always said ‘ask for help, you’re not alone’. So my question is what is Plan B if when you reach out no help is received?

So I guess for me when I read these quotes and hear this advice I get upset. In my life and what I have found is there is no help. Even when I do reach out, or am struggling there really is no one there. In fact I find the more you reach out and tell people your struggles and what you need to faster they in fact turn away.

Please don’t get me wrong. I have great friends and some amazing family but the people I surround myself are just super busy OR in the exact same position as me, treading water just making it through each day. Grandparents just seem super busy these days, 60 is the new 30 and my Dad has a busier social life than me! My husband is my partner in everything and we rely on each other for everything. He is amazing.

I probably should point out where I am coming from. My Mother spent the majority of my life being really unwell. She spent the last 10 years of her life in full time care, it’s a really hard part of my life I don’t really talk about. Anyway, myself, my sister and my Dad were really the only people who saw her on a regular basis. Throughout these last 10 years I yearned for help, for more support but it never came. At her funeral last year so many people turned up. So many. Where were they when she needed them in those last 10 years? If only each of them had done one visit/helped only once a year it would have made a world of difference….. anyway, I’m off track.

So I guess when I started to have children I already knew that no help would come. Luckily Andrew works hard and we have the means available to have a cleaner, buy ready made meals (needed especially in those newborn early days) and pay for the occasional babysitter and childcare. But what if you don’t even have that? What if you are seriously on your own? There must be so many people out there like that.

Every so often I just need to reach out, vent, scream I NEED BLOODY HELP. But you now what…. nothing happens. Friends will reply with ‘yep, I’m in the same situation’ family members will say ‘well this is what happens when you have kids, it was hard for me too’, and some people, well they just turn away.

I know life will not be like this forever, it’s just hard right now. Thanks for reading. Bec

The Ups and Downs of SAHM Life

So I am currently full time at home with the two kids. How did this happen? Well prior to having Gem I had just completed my post graduate degree in Primary School Teaching and had started doing some relief teaching. I was also working part time in retail at the time. When I was 30 weeks pregnant we moved interstate from Adelaide (we were in Adelaide for a few years for my husbands work) to Sydney so any jobs or relationships I had with work were lost.

When Gemima my eldest was 11 months we finally returned back to Melbourne as the decision was made that I would stay home for good as the costs of childcare was just too expensive.

So two kids and three and a half years later and I’m pretty over being at home full time. The girls spend all day whinging and fighting and demaning food which only seems to end up on the floor and not in their mouths. I have 10 hours of childcare a week (split over two days) and that is my saviour. However the childcare only runs the school term so school holidays are a killer. With no family help available the days can be long.

I love my kids but staying at home with them full time definitely isn’t what I thought is was going to be. This blog and my Instagram page has been a big help as it’s given me something else put my energy into, so everyday is not so mundane. Don’t get me wrong I bloody love my kids but being alone with them most days is definitely not healthy for the mind.

I know this time will pass but I don’t think I’ll miss it. I’ll miss them being so cute and little but I won’t miss these long, lonely days.

THE STORES I LOVE TO SHOP AT

Ok so if you follow my blog you will know that I love to shop at Target, Big W, and Best and Less. This is mainly for the price, quality and the returns policy. I feel that as a Mother especially you need hard wearing clothes that wash well, AND if this doesn’t happen you need to be able to return it easily for a full refund which is why love shopping at these stores!

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